


but it's fun while it lasts.

by wookiees



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Character Death, Multi, Other, Spoilers for Episode 102
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-17 23:56:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11279439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wookiees/pseuds/wookiees
Summary: you can't save everyone. no matter how hard you try.





	but it's fun while it lasts.

The sight of Vax, paralyzed against the stone floor, leaves him with a sinking feeling. A lot of unspoken animosity had been built up between them and it still remained even after their quiet talk that night in the mansion but none of that matters now. Not here in the midst of battle. They have each other’s backs. Even if Scanlan felt he'd been let down. That's the rule. So, Scanlan watches as Delilah turns on Vax, noticing the beginning of a spell forming on her thin lips. He acts— practically spitting out the words of a counter spell. 

“Hey you! You know what the problem with your face is?” And though his voice is booming, the waiver of nervousness is unmistakable. “I can see it!” 

Their magics collide. A vibrant purple against a sickly green. They swallow each other whole and Vax’s body— though, crumpled in a heap— remains intact. Delilah’s mismatched eyes meet his. They’re cold and angry. Scanlan allows her to see the breath of relief that he exhales and lets her fester in that anger as Percy takes a shot. 

The battle wages on. Spells fly past him and dissipate against their adversaries' bodies to seemingly no avail. He tries his damnedest to be of use; a cutting word here, song of inspiration there. It’s not enough. Before he even realizes, Vecna sets his sight on Vax'ildan and goes in for the kill. 

Even if he were taller man with twice his speed, Scanlan wouldn’t be quick enough to stop it. He stares on helplessly. 

“I do so hate to see work go unfinished.” The voice he’d chortled at just moments ago, echoes through his skull once more.

He’s not laughing as Vax’s body turns to ash, picked up in the wind that whips against them on the platform. Scanlan stands because it’s all he can do. He holds out for something to grab onto but even if he could reach, it would slip through his fingers. 

A cold numbness takes over his limbs, fills him with a heavy weight, it's like he's been paralyzed again.

_“we could all die tomorrow.”_

_"sure but it’s fun while it lasts.”_

_I just got back,_ He thinks. _It can’t end like this._

And so Scanlan fights harder. He catches sight of the matching dragon scale necklaces, which he once wrote off as an atrocious fashion statement, glow and pulse a violent red. It pulses faster as Vex falls. Faster still as their injuries become numerous. 

The battle slows. Delilah falls. Grog, once a vanishing act, reappears but they’re still outnumbered and quite literally at death’s doorstep. 

“We can’t win this.” 

“Gather everyone. We’re leaving.” 

He reaches for Pike, pulls her through his dimension door and arrives at Vex’s side but he doesn’t stay. Pike can handle it. Besides, he knows that anxiously looming over her would only surmount the pressure she’s feeling. Scanlan lets her do what she does best. What he once regrettably referred to as _‘weird fucking magic’_. If he could take it back he would. 

Instead, Scanlan approaches the mass of feathers and ashes. He kneels and as he sweeps a cupped palm through the ashes of his friend, he wonders if _any_ magic can fix this. All the miracles he’s seen have always had a body to perform them on. 

The clock is ticking. Vecna summons more allies. Scanlan gathers up what remains he can as Vex rises, disoriented. If she understands that the pile of soot and armor in his arms is her brother, she doesn’t show it. 

They gather around Keyleth. Percy unpleasantly drags Delilah’s corpse with him, firing shots at Vecna to hold him off. Scanlan shoots lightning out his backend at the knight that had disappearing-acted Grog. 

A spell hits Pike and sends a burst of fire shooting outward from her chestplate. He knows what that means. Pike is on the brink and they might just be dragging two corpses with them to whatever plane Keyleth shifts them to. The undead closing in on them dissipate. And as Scanlan utters out a healing word for his fellow gnome, another spell flies past him— Pike’s eyes go wide and the world seems to slow. 

He has enough magic in him for one last spell. The words of a counter spell already hang on his tongue. He can counter it before it hits her. Kills her. But what they’re attempting to do must be obvious, Vecna isn’t a brainless beast. He’s a god. He’ll try to stop them and Scanlan has to prevent him from doing so. He has to make sure the rest of them get out of here in one piece. If that means sacrificing Pike? Beloved Pike? Then so be it. 

The counterspell dies on his lips. And it’s as if by the grace of Sarenrae that Vecna’s spell is absorbed into Pike’s armor. While Scanlan knows that such a miracle wasn’t performed for his benefit, he sends a silent prayer of thank you up to the goddess, regardless. 

“Is everyone here?” 

“We’re all accounted for.” 

“Wait—” Vex’ahlia, as if pulled from a fog, begins counting heads in a panic. “Where’s Vax?” 

No one answers. Percy looks to Scanlan, “Do you have his stuff.” 

Scanlan suddenly wishes he had bigger arms or perhaps a dust pan, “As much as I can carry.” 

He nods. It’s solemn. This is the first time Percy’s spoken to him without the air of hostility. There is no room for it here. “Then lets go.” 

“Okay,” says Keyleth. 

The ground begins to glow around them. The air, once crisp and cold, feels warmer. They’re still very much in their world but Keyleth’s planeshift spell has begun and Vecna approaches, one arm out-stretched. As soon as the god's lips start moving and the glyph begins to glow between his fingertips... 

Scanlan sings; “I’m beautiful! I’m beautiful, it’s true! You saw my face, in a crowded place and you didn’t know what to do, ‘cause I just took a shit on you.” 

Counterspell meets counterspell. The world glows around them and Scanlan feels as though he’s being pulled through a small tube. The ground shifts from stone to water underneath their feet and the sky above them changes into the Feywild’s perpetual twilight. 

Vecna’s word echoes through his skull once more. It’s not threatening, it’s not even laughable, it's just a mere confused, “... What?” 

Scanlan sinks to his knees in the pond. They all take a moment to catch their breathes. Thankful to suck in air that isn’t laced with the heaviness of Vecna’s presence. He holds the remnants of what was once Vax’ildan in his arms and wonders if Vax felt just this hopeless while holding his little corpse. He looks up at the rest of Vox Machina, who've always felt big to him but now look so small in the shadow of defeat. The dragon scales around their necks still pulse. 

He opens his mouth to say something. A rallying cry? An apology? He isn’t quite sure himself but before he can decide— Vex asks, louder and more concerned; “Where’s Vax?” — And it's there he feels his heart shatter.

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write something to get out the Scanlan related emotions that Episode 102 gave me. I polished and fluffed this up from a quick drabble I wrote over on my roleplay blog. *crosses fingers* Forward unto, 103.


End file.
